What I wish I Could’ve Told My 20 Year Old Self

Of all the horrible things that can happen in one lifetime, the scariest for me is regret. I will consider it a personal success if I die an old lady, confident about most of the life decisions I made. Not everyone is so lucky to experience such a smooth transition into kicking the bucket but there is a way to reverse any damage you may have caused. Just learn from me and my ridiculously stupid mistakes in a post I’d like to call : What I wish I would’ve known at 20.

Ok so I am only 25 at the moment, in case you were wondering, but that doesn’t mean life hasn’t thrown a few curve balls at me. I have the battle wounds to prove it. Lets take a look back at my misfortunes due to me being a reckless 20 something failure :

Loyalty (family, friends & relationships) – How come nobody tells you that people ain’t shit? Excuse me, where are my manners? Correction, how come no one tells you people aren’t shit? There we go. Its painfully sad but true. Family is just a group of people comprised by blood, DNA, and genes. Nothing more or less. Loyalty is what separates family from relatives and there is a huge difference. I really thought at 20, just because I’m related to this person, they’ll always have my back. I had a very rude awakening with a very close “relative” of mine and never fully recovered from it.

Friends? Ha! Where do I begin? Maybe we can start with the fact that if you can’t even trust family, can you really trust strangers? Mmm, nope. Friends are just people as well, with their own agendas and motives that you’ll probably never truly know. The best thing about fake friends is they are way easier to cut off than a shifty relative. Just quit answering their calls, you don’t really have to worry about seeing them at thanksgiving unless they start dating someone in your family. Now that’s just the frenemy from hell.

At 20 I definitely thought I had this whole relationship thing figured out. Stay cute, cook and clean, pick your battles, have sex frequently and never interrupt a Sunday football game. Unfortunately none of that matters. You can be the best boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse in the world but it also comes down to how good of a person your partner is. I exhausted myself for years trying to be the perfect girlfriend and none of it mattered. It’s nice not having to fake a smile through a whole game of football and not having to beat my face to perfection everyday anymore. Now its all about sweatpants, takeout, and the peaceful reality of knowing that no one wields the remote control except I (that sounded single and lonely as fuck). Now I’ve joined the sorry statistic of people wandering life alone, paranoid, afraid and full of trust issues thanks to these life lessons.

Future – I wasn’t raised making my own decisions nor was I allowed to have a problem with the decisions made for me. I never really thought for myself, what I wanted to do in life or with my future. So when my parents told me where to go to college and what to study; I applied, got accepted and studied a major I absolutely fucking hated. I don’t know how I got through life never asking myself what I wanted out of it but I wasn’t truly living. I really believed adulthood was all about going to college, getting a job, marrying your soulmate and having babies. This was probably the only thing in life I had thought about and knew I absolutely did not want any part of. The mere thought of getting married and having children actually gave me sweaty palms and a slight migraine (even now). My distaste for adulthood probably saved me from making the ultimate mistake because I wasn’t ready then and I’m not ready now.

What I wish I could’ve told my 20 year old self? That you are in complete control of your life. Family, friends, and relationships will come and go and you have to learn how to cope with that. You also need to learn to accept people for the asses that they are and then decide if they’re someone that you should have in your life. Stop killing yourself trying to be the perfect girlfriend, daughter, sister and friend to everyone. If its real, they’re going to love you regardless of your failures and imperfections.

Slow down for a second, stop going with the motions and ask yourself what do you want. If you don’t know, think about it. Take some time to find yourself and allow yourself to heal from the past. After a nice cry, pour yourself a drink. get over it and live fabulously. You’re going to experience some setbacks and that’s good, setbacks teach you how to not give up and how to persevere. Those rough times are going to make you stronger and braver, because living life as a victim is no way to live at all.  Fear is ok, love isn’t scary, and not everyone has it out to hurt you. Love yourself, prioritize your goals, and live everyday to the fullest, regardless of who’s in it. Pain is inevitable but suffering is always optional.

“My Family is Crazy AF !” : #ImSoReckless Thanksgiving

Fuck Thanksgiving! Yea I said it. Come at me bro. Maybe I’m still in shock but I was under the assumption that the holidays were all about spending time with the people that make life fulfilling; that the way you awaken to loved ones after coming out of the ultimate food coma. Then reality hit me like an ambulance racing to save its next thanksgiving victim. Sometimes the holidays are just a shitty day, shared with shitty people (you don’t have to admit it), you’ve been forced to spend time with to avoid being that shitty person who makes their grandmother cry because you flaked on another holiday gathering. In the case that your Thanksgiving sucked, here’s a recap of mine. You’ll be feeling better in no time. Continue reading ““My Family is Crazy AF !” : #ImSoReckless Thanksgiving”

If a Man Pays for a Date…You Owe Him Sex?

In today’s dating culture, it is widely debated whether or not a man is expected to pay for the first date. Men are feeling used, after feelings of getting nothing in return for paying for the first date. To get a woman’s attention, is a man really obligated to cough up money on the first initial date in order to be seen as a potential “option” for the woman? If a man refuses to pay for the first date or simply would like to split the bill  , is he suddenly banished to the friend zone or listed as an unsaved number? The idea is that if a man takes the time to pay for your meal, [especially if he took you to an expensive restaurant] then  sex is expected at the end of the night. Let’s all keep it real, if a man spends $200 on a date, he’s expecting to get some ass at the end of the evening; not a simple kiss on the cheek and a “good night” text. The question is…do women owe this to men?  Continue reading “If a Man Pays for a Date…You Owe Him Sex?”

How Success Ruins Relationships

Dreams are the heartbeat of life; they give people direction, courage and inspiration. Life as we know it today would be very different without the bold few that brought their ideas to reality. Just think about it. Technology may have never evolved, that’s right you could probably kiss Pokemon go goodbye without some of the worlds most creative people. But the life of such an innovator isn’t always as fabulous as their success. Here’s a little glimpse into the world of dreamers and how their ambitions could have potentially ruined their relationships.

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This is Why Your Sex Life Sucks

There’s something about sex that gets almost everyone’s panties in a bunch and now I know why, because almost everyone is having horrible sex. Yes you read that correctly and if you’ve clicked on this post you’re probably one of those silent sufferers. Well suffer no more because we’re about to turn your sex life all the way around.

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How to Keep Your Relationship from Ending

Its always somewhat tricky dealing with other people but especially when you throw building a life together in the mix. Once you have “the talk” and things are officially exclusive; you’re not just missing out on nights with friends, you’re not allowed to be selfish anymore. There’s someone else in the picture to consider now and if you have problems adjusting here’s a few tips to help better any relationship.

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Malia Obama Dancing at Lollapalooza Music Festival?

As Barack Obamas’s presidential term comes to an end, Malia Obama was spotted having a good time at the Lollapalooza Music Festival this past weekend. When I watched the footage of Malia, all I saw was a young eighteen year old girl unapologetically enjoying herself with friends, however, social media erupted after the footage surfaced. A lot of people came to the conclusion that if your father is the president, that “twerking” (wouldn’t call what she did twerking) is completely left field  and disrespectful. Shots were fired as people couldn’t understand why she couldn’t wait until her father was out of the White House…. she’s making black women look bad….etc.  Let Malia live is all I could say to myself. I mean seriously, what were you all doing at 18 years old?  [FOOTAGE]

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Why We Hate Christmas

Everyone thinks were the modern day holiday Scrooge or Ms. Grinch but in this video we explain why we hate the Holiday Season. Either way we hope you all choose to spend the holidays with the ones you love, celebrating another year together! And remember, the holidays isn’t the best time of year for everyone so be thankful for your blessings and all that you have!

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