Why people go back to their ex

Every time you go back to your parents house there’s an overwhelming feeling of being back in a familiar place that makes you all warm inside. Your room is an exact replica of the last time you saw it, that old chair in the corner still creaks every time you sit in it and your stash of weed is in it’s exact same hiding place. This may have been a weird scenario to compare old relationships too but the feeling of familiarity is usually the reason most of us go back to our ex. 

If you’re reading this and you’re filled more with disgust than understanding; congratulations, you are officially done with your ex and are free to move on. For those still battling with the thought of wanting to go back to their ex or incapable of letting go completely, here’s why.

A relationship is like a trial run with a person. You get to see what you love and hate about them to determine if this is someone you can spend forever with, so naturally, you really get to know that person and they really get to know you. Even the arguments start to become familiar after you catch on to what makes them tick. Then theres the memories you make together from international trips all the way to inside jokes. Basically this person becomes a part of you to the point that when you’re thinking of yourself, you probably think of them too. There’s a real bond there that can’t be broken, even after a label demotion from in a relationship to single af.

But even all that bonding, love and emotion isn’t why most of us go back. It’s the fear of that comfort zone being gone forever, the fear of being alone without that familiar safety net. Why not go back to what I know? If you’re contemplating that, let me stop you right there.

An ex is an ex because no matter what, things just didn’t work out. Fuck a comfort zone, safety net and familiarity, your sanity is on the line. Putting yourself back in a situation that you’re more than 95% sure won’t work is the fastest, easiest and most reliable way to lose your shit and not in a good way. Maybe you can’t control the fact you still love them and want to be with them but you can stop the moving van from making a u-turn. Once you’re out, stay out. The process won’t be easy but neither will returning back to a failed relationship.

Take your time to grieve and realize what went wrong. Deal with your emotions and the sting of the end will eventually subside to the point that you’ll be able to function like a normal person again. Stack up on some comfort food, call all your friends and drink until your problems melt away into some foggy abyss. It’s like that age old saying, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Even though it’s nice to return home every once in a while, after a couple days it becomes apparent that we left that comfortable nest for a reason.



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