Are they cheating or are you just insecure?

We all know the most basic signs of a cheater; dwindling sex life, suspicious phone activity, and who could forget the late nights at the office but there’s two sides to every coin. What if I dared to debate your friends assumptions that your partner was a cheating scumbag and told you that you just might be the problem. Strike a nerve? I’m just playing devils advocate, so let’s discuss this before the hate mail starts rolling in.

Insecurities have a sneaky way of convincing us that every situation is the worst case scenario. Even the warmest of romantic gestures can be ruined by that little devil on your shoulder that screams “he’s a cheating bastard”. But don’t be fooled, it’s all a mind fuck. Here’s a few tips to help sort out whether your love is a player or your mind is playing tricks on you.

Tip # 1 : If your communication is starting to fail it may not be because they’ve found someone else to confide in. Maybe they had a stressful week and had to deal with some hardships and depending on how long the two of you have been together, they may want to deal with some personal issues alone. Just because you’ve been a recurring feature on their Instagram story for the last two weeks doesn’t mean you’re qualified to deal with some of their most intimate issues.

Tip # 2 : Are they making more and more excuses about why they can’t see you? Have they flaked on the last 2 or more dates they had scheduled with you? OK they could have found someone better, or maybe they just want their space. Every relationship is not made equal. Just because your best friends spend every day with their significant other does not mean yours is going to want the same. They may use their alone time as a time to relax or create, read a book or catch up on old scandal episodes. Doesn’t mean they’re doing Brenda down the road.

Tip # 3 : If your sex life went from spontaneous and spicy to dull and depressing that’s a serious sign that something has gone awry but it might not be for the reasons you’re suspecting. Sex is like a barometer for a relationship since it’s one of the very first things to be effected, so it could be a number of things. From daily stresses, to fatigue, to the NBA finals and everything in between. Don’t just jump straight to thinking they’re having their needs met elsewhere. But it is important to communicate that your needs aren’t being met so that the way you don’t go from suspecting infidelity to committing it.

Ok so maybe you still aren’t convinced your significant other is a faithful committed Saint but that’s where your job comes in. If you’re suspicious of your partner it will start to show and no one likes being constantly side eyed and accused of doing things they haven’t even done. If you’re genuinely concerned and are convinced your sanity is not the issue then keep an eye on their actions and movements. Don’t accuse, ask questions and stay alert. It is innocent until proven guilty, and once proven guilty you’re permitted to go as crazy as you’d like; just avoid a case at all costs.


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