Whenever I meet a cute guy I go through a bit of a process. Is he good looking? Can he keep a conversation going? Did I get bored? Did he ask me for my number or my Instagram account (major key)? And this process is completed within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone. I know, I’m not very reasonable with the time clock but who has time to really get to know people anymore (why I’m single)? I may not have figured out how to tell if he’s husband material in the first 5 minutes or even 5 years of knowing someone but I have mastered the skill set of fuck boy detection. Here’s a few signs that you’re dealing with a fuck boy :
Sign 1 :
If he texts “wyd”, “af”, or talks about how “lit” he was at any point and time, he’s a fuck boy. I mean think about it, he won’t even take the time to type out the entire “wyd” question. Ok joking, I just have a difficult time connecting to someone that still texts like they’re a freshman in high school. It was cute then, not so much now. No it doesn’t prove they’re a definite fuck boy but the numbers are a bit staggering. There’s a 70% chance he’s a fuck boy when you have to Google search his text abbreviations but a 100% chance he’s completely illiterate. And that’s enough for me.
Sign 2 :
If you’re always getting invited to his house but find yourself wondering why the two of you never mix and mingle out in the real world, it’s because he’s not worth your time. Fuck boys have an undeniable connection with their home. Reason 1 being it’s free to hang out there and reason 2 being he just advanced about 4 steps closer to the bedroom.
Sign 3 :
Another tell tale sign of the infamous fuck boy is his attire. Ok so it’s different strokes for different folks but if he texts like a high schooler, he’ll probably dress like one too. If he gets carded while you’re out together or if he resembles that of a viral musically user, run.
Sign 4 :
How he spends his spare time will alert you the quickest to if he’s trash or treasure. Guys pursuing any sort of career in the entertainment industry get a bad rep, especially when they’re underground but don’t let his career choice deter you from making a connection. It’s not what he does, it’s how he does it that deciphers between a fuck boy and a man. If he talks or tweets all day about his rap career but you never see him in the studio or writing music or performing live gigs, he’s more talk and less action. And if he can’t even take his money seriously…do I have to continue? Let his work ethic prove to you how serious he is about his craft and future. But if he knows every word to bad and bougie, drop him now. Same goes for you men seeking a wholesome lady. Respectable men and women shouldn’t even know who Migos is.
Sign 5 :
If he has children. Ok so just like the last sign, it’s not about if they have kids, it’s about how their relationship with their children is. If they’re only interacting with their kids on the holidays or birthdays or just times when they want a Instagram photo, that’s a definite fuck boy. How can someone care about anyone else if they don’t even give a shit about their own children?
Sign 6 :
If he plays the victim card. Every fuck boy that has ever lived has a platinum express victim card. They are never at fault for anything, everything is out of their control and since there’s nothing they can do about life, they choose denial and VIP sections in the club every Friday night. Their mentality should be the ultimate deal breaker for if they stay around or not. Any adult that chooses to play the victim card instead of taking their life into their own hands and creating their own future is just simply lazy and immature. You can’t help how you were born, but you can help how you die. As morbid as that sounds, it really is a great motivator. Did I mention I’m in therapy?