My Ex Hurt Me, How do I Move On? | #SnapConfessional

New snap confession in and hot off the press! So sit back, relax and enjoy as we try to figure out this thing, game, nightmare we call life. As you all may know we have a segment called #SnapConfessionals where people submit questions or life experiences to us that they may have never shared with anyone else and we offer our honest opinion as they remain anonymous. This week’s confession reads: 

Hi Dahlias,

I just recently got out of a relationship with my girlfriend who I was with for 4 years after moving cross country to be with her. We moved in together about 8 months ago and soon after things turned south. She started a new job and hanging around some new friends and thats when the problems started. She would go out and not come home until 2 or 3 am and if I would ask her where she was or what she was doing she would go off on me. I found out she was seeing someone else while we were together and it was another woman. Someone she had been friends with for almost a year, I even hung out with them sometimes. She ended up leaving after we tried to work things out and I feel like I’ll never get over this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks


Im just going to start with the basic knowledge that breakups are difficult, which I’m sure you know but its important to remember that as we sometimes get impatient with the process. But thats exactly what this is, a process. You will have to grieve, be angry, be sad, and feel all those hard to deal with emotions until enough time has passed. I wish there was some way to cure the break up blues but to be brutally honest the only way to heal your heart is to deal with the pain.

Many of us avoid dealing with the heart ache because it hurts but not dealing with it causes way more damage. The best way to deal with it is to speak to someone you trust. Someone you know won’t judge you and the process you are going through. Some people can be very insensitive about such a vulnerable time, so make sure not to deal with anyone that may shame you or stress you.

Remember not to blame all women or carry around that chip in your shoulder because you got hurt. Your ex does not represent anyone else but herself. Yes she hurt you but thats the past. Don’t allow her to also dictate whether or not you move on to have a better and happier future.

Other women won’t help, neither will friends, alcohol or any other type of distraction, support is the best remedy there is. Once enough time has passed and you have dealt with the baggage from your past relationship then go out looking for love if that’s what you choose. Support will help you to forgive and forgiveness is the only cure for emotional pain.

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