Why 2017 Is Still Going to Suck

We have officially survived the worst year known to man, 2016. Good riddance you bitch. I don’t know about the rest of you but last year taught me to pray for the best while preparing for the worse. So now may not be the time to kick back, relax and enjoy the year ahead. 2017 is going to be full of Beyonce type highs and Mariah Carey type lows, her career just couldn’t survive the last few hours before ultimately committing suicide in front of the world. RIP Mariah. Well in case you’re planning on 2017 being your best year yet, here’s a few tips to make that happen. Otherwise this is going to be another  year relentlessly sucking the life out of you the same way drake snatches the minds, hearts and souls of all his women. So let’s talk about how to make 2017 great:

When you decide to start a diet you don’t just begin without any sort of preparation, right? There’s usually an expensive trip to the grocery store, a couple of ‘lose weight now’ infomercial purchases, followed by a few inspiring Facebook posts alluding to your new lifestyle. Well allow 2017 to be no different. This year has all the capabilities, if not more than 2016 (thanks to Trump), to ruin lives. The only way to protect yourself is by planning. Set some goals and slowly chip away at them, then document every milestone. This is a fool proof way to not end up like the 2016 roadkill we saw time and time again. You’ll be looking back on this year in 2018 and will be able to see just how far you’ve come.

You know the whole “new year, new me” subliminal you’ve been threatening all your friends with? Stop threatening and start chopping. And I mean everyone, no I’m totally kidding (only a little though). I came to a beautiful realization in 2016 that if your name isn’t on the list of people i’d call if I was stuck on the side of the road, then you’re probably not that important; so why are you still around? Beats me but I just completed the ultimate sweep in my list of contacts. Maybe its not a literal ‘new year, new me’ but a ‘new year, new contact list’ is close enough.

Let’s take a moment to grieve the fails of 2016, now lets move the fuck on. Yea I said it. Theres no way to forge ahead into the future when you’re still dwelling on the past. And if you can’t even survive in the present how can you create a better future? By letting go completely. Some people (myself included) are afraid of letting go of the past for whatever reason. For me, holding on to things that happened seemed like the only way to make sure I never went through similar experiences again. There’s a reason they say keep your eye on the road while driving (besides your safety of course) because when you focus on something else, you actually start to move towards it. Same goes with life. A goal is just a big picture or dream of the future you have envisioned in your mind. When you set goals, you focus on them and subconsciously work your way towards them. When you lose focus or take your eye off the prize you stray from the task at hand. The past is poisonous and no good for your present or future. You don’t need a constant reminder of how bad things were. You’re smart enough to see the caution signs so you don’t make the same mistake again. Trust yourself and stay focused.

I know its only the second day of the year but all that means is there’s 363 more days worth of opportunities to fuck your life up. I swear most of the time I’m the ‘glass is half full’ type of girl. So what if we really are the cause of about 90% of life’s disappointments (give or take), we’re also the solution. Never forget that. Happy 2017 everyone!

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